We're chatting with my friend Jenna Werner (@happystronghealthy on IG), a registered dietitian and intuitive eating counselor, to explore the complexities of our relationship with movement—including her own history with compulsive exercise, the importance of ditching the “all-or-nothing” mentality, and what it means to find peace and attunement amidst the noise of fitness culture.
I am answering these questions from the perspective of a 31 year old male with a lifelong history of involvement high level sports who has a general anxiety and panic disorder diagnosis that I currently work with daily. I’m am now out of the sports industry and on a recovery journey.
1. 6th grade. Being told I had a double chin by my “friends”. All the guys hit puberty at the same time and had the stereotypical male body type society deems worthy. I didn’t. I was told I had to change it if I wanted to fit in and my athletic journey to continue. I began specialized athletic training within gym facilities by 8th grade. I was just barely 13.
2. I’m not sure at this moment. Really. All I ever knew was athletic practices and games that were fun at first…but that quickly morphed into working out to train to lose weight and that carried into my athletic experience. I stopped having fun and was scared to fail. Which is a shame. Because when I let loose and had fun, I was so happy. And loved moving. There aren’t a lot of options for athletic activities in my area that aren’t very late at night. Plus, gym classes are somewhere I don’t want to be anymore. I’ve trained my entire life. I know how to move safely in private. But it’s still hard. It feels like a chore. And I’m constantly stressing about getting it done. And guilty if I’m tired.
3. I tried resting today. And by 4pm, I was so scared that my body has been changing and taking back its larger form. I’ve been trying to eat intuitively and do my own movement. It feels so good. But I’m so scared it won’t work for me. I am worried that what a doctor once said to me last year will come true—-“you workout so hard and eat so well. It’s not your fault you’re bigger. You just have obesity disease. And you should take GLP-1s to mitigate this extra weight stress on your body plus avoid any chance of being pre diabetic”
I did not take that advice and left the practice quickly. I am tired of pain, restriction, and fear just so I can have an optimal societal body.
Thank you so much for sharing this, Alexis. Truly. You're not alone, and it breaks my heart in half to hear how much you've been through. It makes complete sense that rest feels unsettling, that body changes bring up fear, that the words of a doctor still linger. That doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong—it means you’re untangling years of conditioning, and that’s no small thing. But what I hear most in your words is strength. I hear someone who is deeply aware of what feels good, even if fear is still present. That matters. That is healing. It just takes time. Focus on what feels gentle, respectful, caring. Remember that no one knows you or your body the way that you do. You don't owe anyone your body or "proof" that you're trying. You have always been enough.
I am answering these questions from the perspective of a 31 year old male with a lifelong history of involvement high level sports who has a general anxiety and panic disorder diagnosis that I currently work with daily. I’m am now out of the sports industry and on a recovery journey.
1. 6th grade. Being told I had a double chin by my “friends”. All the guys hit puberty at the same time and had the stereotypical male body type society deems worthy. I didn’t. I was told I had to change it if I wanted to fit in and my athletic journey to continue. I began specialized athletic training within gym facilities by 8th grade. I was just barely 13.
2. I’m not sure at this moment. Really. All I ever knew was athletic practices and games that were fun at first…but that quickly morphed into working out to train to lose weight and that carried into my athletic experience. I stopped having fun and was scared to fail. Which is a shame. Because when I let loose and had fun, I was so happy. And loved moving. There aren’t a lot of options for athletic activities in my area that aren’t very late at night. Plus, gym classes are somewhere I don’t want to be anymore. I’ve trained my entire life. I know how to move safely in private. But it’s still hard. It feels like a chore. And I’m constantly stressing about getting it done. And guilty if I’m tired.
3. I tried resting today. And by 4pm, I was so scared that my body has been changing and taking back its larger form. I’ve been trying to eat intuitively and do my own movement. It feels so good. But I’m so scared it won’t work for me. I am worried that what a doctor once said to me last year will come true—-“you workout so hard and eat so well. It’s not your fault you’re bigger. You just have obesity disease. And you should take GLP-1s to mitigate this extra weight stress on your body plus avoid any chance of being pre diabetic”
I did not take that advice and left the practice quickly. I am tired of pain, restriction, and fear just so I can have an optimal societal body.
Thank you so much for sharing this, Alexis. Truly. You're not alone, and it breaks my heart in half to hear how much you've been through. It makes complete sense that rest feels unsettling, that body changes bring up fear, that the words of a doctor still linger. That doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong—it means you’re untangling years of conditioning, and that’s no small thing. But what I hear most in your words is strength. I hear someone who is deeply aware of what feels good, even if fear is still present. That matters. That is healing. It just takes time. Focus on what feels gentle, respectful, caring. Remember that no one knows you or your body the way that you do. You don't owe anyone your body or "proof" that you're trying. You have always been enough.
Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway