Does "Fake It Till You Make It" Apply to Body Image?

What the research says about improving the way we feel in our own skin.

Welcome, my friend. This little corner of this internet is where we talk about what it means to have a body in this world — through the lens of autonomy, compassion, and liberation. Thank you so much for being here.

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When I was growing up, public speaking terrified me.

I dreaded those school projects where I had to present to my classmates (and no, “just picture the class in their underwear!” did not work for my brain). But the good old “fake it till you make it” approach did help me ease my anxieties over time, because it taught me how the embodiment of worthiness and safety (acting as if I felt confident about speaking) could actually manifest into an authentic belief that I’d be okay.

While I was speaking with Dr. Charlotte Markey on this week’s episode of Full Plate Podcast, she brought up this same strategy as something that can apply to body image:

I think a lot of the time we have to fake it till we make it on some of this. And I know that sounds super unscientific. But if you don't disparage your body because you don't want your kids to hear that, and then you gradually stop disparaging your body in general, all of a sudden, years pass and you’ve stopped thinking about your body that way because you’ve stopped saying those things to yourself.

- Dr. Charlotte Markey, Episode #159, Full Plate Podcast

While, as Charlotte says, this may sound unscientific, the concept itself is at the root of the self-compassion-directed work that I do with my clients and groups. Essentially, if we want to feel better about this vessel we inhabit, we have to start treating it with kindness and dignity—even before we fully feel it.

I understand if this sounds unrealistic, and I think there is important nuance to discuss here. This is not a straight forward practice, nor is it going to look or feel the same for everyone (especially if you live in a marginalized body). And it’s important to note that this isn’t about toxic positivity — it’s about shifting how we engage with ourselves in small but meaningful ways.

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In fact, studies show that forcing positivity about our bodies might not be the magic fix, but small shifts in behavior and self-talk can help.

The way I like to explain this is:

If you were to constantly insult your best friend — telling them they need to exercise to earn food, berating them for eating “too much” dessert, criticizing their body, and generally disrespecting them — that relationship would fizzle; trust, safety, connection, and love would be lost.

And yet, this is precisely what diet culture has us doing to ourselves. So it’s not a mystery why we’d feel so disconnected, so fearful, so distrustful of our own bodies if we’ve been acting like we don’t respect them.

The science actually bears this out. Research on self-perception theory has demonstrated that our actions influence our feelings—meaning that engaging in body-respecting behaviors (our actions towards our body) can gradually improve body image (our feelings about our body) over time.

For example, a 2019 study found that practicing body appreciation—focusing on what your body does and provides you rather than how it looks—was linked to improved self-esteem and well-being. Similarly, research on embodiment shows that dressing comfortably, engaging in joyful movement, and limiting body-checking behaviors can cultivate a more neutral or even positive relationship with our bodies.

That said, it can certainly backfire if we’re trying to force body love when that isn’t our truth.

Suppressing negative emotions often makes them stronger, because we’re not tending to the root of why we feel what we feel, and we’re not meeting ourselves where we are. Telling yourself I love my body! when you don’t believe it can feel disingenuous and increase frustration.

This is why aiming for body neutrality—shifting the focus from appearance to comfort and self-respect — can be a healing path forward.

So, can you fake a better body image?

Not exactly. But you can practice showing up for yourself in ways that build trust and self-compassion over time. It’s not about pretending to love your body—it’s about treating it with care, whether or not love is there yet. Because the truth is, loving our body’s appearance was never supposed to be the goal. In many ways, that focus distracts us from the real purpose of having a human body in the first place.

If fake it till you make it doesn’t resonate, here’s another way to think about it:

Practice it until it feels true.

I’d love to hear from you: What’s one small way you’ve been showing your body respect lately? Have you ever thought about it through this lens?

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I’d love to hear from you: What is a small action of body respect you have been taking recently? Had you ever thought of it in the context of “fake it till you make it”?

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On the podcast this week:

Charlotte answers my (many) inquiries about the connection between social media use and body image, how parents influence their children’s experience of body shame, the relationship between disordered eating and body dissatisfaction, whether weight loss improves body image, and so much more.

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Full Plate where we talk about what it means to have a body in this world — through the lens of autonomy, compassion, and liberation. Thank you so much for being here.