I have to buy most of my clothes online (being tall AND on the cusp of plus size is extra fun). Dacy Gillespie (of Unflattering) first turned me on to the no-mirror try-on. It has really changed my relationship with buying new clothes. If it doesn't feel comfy on me, it's going back, period.
She also helped me set the expectation that I'd likely return 80% of what I order, and that it's not my fault because clothes are trash.
I buy 99.9999% of my clothes online. I'm 5'2", shortwaisted, plus size, short inseam. Petite size ranges don't typically go to plus size, and plus sizes are often too long and/or just out of proportion (hey, not all plus size people are tall!). I have gained a lot of weight over the last 2 years due to menopause and being a full time caregiver to my husband who passed away in December. At this point I just want clothes that are comfortable and don't look horrible.
Thank you. I needed this reminder. I hate having to try on clothes and not knowing what size I need and needing something bigger. The only time I didn’t hate it was in the middle of my eating disorder when I was buying smaller…which I know was unhealthy. But still doesn’t make it easier and now I’m trying to listen more to what my body needs and wants for food and so my body is again changing and that’s scary and requires new clothes.
Love this! My body has changed the most over the past 9 or so months, as a consequence of being diligent with my recovery and giving my body the food and rest it needs. But, that means that a lot of these changes have taken place over the winter, when it's obviously common to wear more layers and looser clothing. I've had a bit of anxiety and dread come up as the weather has started to shift, as it's crystalized for me that I'm going to need new clothing that fits for the warmer weather. And, I'll have much more of my skin (and body) exposed.
My husband and I have a beautiful large standing mirror in our living room (we live in a very, very small unit so we don't have anywhere else to put it), and I covered it with a blanket about 1 year ago. This small change has definitely been helpful with managing body image distress, since I now never look in the mirror at my full body. Moving forward, I'll absolutely continue to try on anything new without looking in the mirror and I completely agree with you that focusing solely on comfort and how you feel in clothes is essential!! Your writing always resonates, Abbie! Thank you!
Thank you so much for sharing this! That's such a wonderful point about the seasons and the weather -- how that shows up in this process and the clothing experience. Covering mirrors can help so much! I have clients who like to write things on their mirrors / add sticky notes with body affirming messages. We have to get creative to rewire those thoughts, and I am so glad you have been finding ways to create more emotional and physical comfort ♥️
I have to buy most of my clothes online (being tall AND on the cusp of plus size is extra fun). Dacy Gillespie (of Unflattering) first turned me on to the no-mirror try-on. It has really changed my relationship with buying new clothes. If it doesn't feel comfy on me, it's going back, period.
She also helped me set the expectation that I'd likely return 80% of what I order, and that it's not my fault because clothes are trash.
I wish I could wear a gunnysack every day.
Yessss it’s such a life changing approach! Dacy is amazing. She’s on the podcast this week! I’ll wear gunnysacks with you. It’s a vibe.
Ahhh yes! Boy she’s been making the rounds.
I buy 99.9999% of my clothes online. I'm 5'2", shortwaisted, plus size, short inseam. Petite size ranges don't typically go to plus size, and plus sizes are often too long and/or just out of proportion (hey, not all plus size people are tall!). I have gained a lot of weight over the last 2 years due to menopause and being a full time caregiver to my husband who passed away in December. At this point I just want clothes that are comfortable and don't look horrible.
Thank you. I needed this reminder. I hate having to try on clothes and not knowing what size I need and needing something bigger. The only time I didn’t hate it was in the middle of my eating disorder when I was buying smaller…which I know was unhealthy. But still doesn’t make it easier and now I’m trying to listen more to what my body needs and wants for food and so my body is again changing and that’s scary and requires new clothes.
You deserve comfort and ease, Kelly. Keep reminding yourself of that! I'm sending you so much love and support. It's hard, it truly is, so don't forget to be gentle with yourself through the process. There is grief. I have a podcast episode this week that you might find really helpful: https://open.substack.com/pub/abbieattwoodwellness/p/161-the-myth-of-flattering-clothing-542?r=28eorf&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false
Love this! My body has changed the most over the past 9 or so months, as a consequence of being diligent with my recovery and giving my body the food and rest it needs. But, that means that a lot of these changes have taken place over the winter, when it's obviously common to wear more layers and looser clothing. I've had a bit of anxiety and dread come up as the weather has started to shift, as it's crystalized for me that I'm going to need new clothing that fits for the warmer weather. And, I'll have much more of my skin (and body) exposed.
My husband and I have a beautiful large standing mirror in our living room (we live in a very, very small unit so we don't have anywhere else to put it), and I covered it with a blanket about 1 year ago. This small change has definitely been helpful with managing body image distress, since I now never look in the mirror at my full body. Moving forward, I'll absolutely continue to try on anything new without looking in the mirror and I completely agree with you that focusing solely on comfort and how you feel in clothes is essential!! Your writing always resonates, Abbie! Thank you!
Thank you so much for sharing this! That's such a wonderful point about the seasons and the weather -- how that shows up in this process and the clothing experience. Covering mirrors can help so much! I have clients who like to write things on their mirrors / add sticky notes with body affirming messages. We have to get creative to rewire those thoughts, and I am so glad you have been finding ways to create more emotional and physical comfort ♥️