Thank you so much for sharing that! Let me know if there is anything you'd want to hear more about in a future episode (a continuation of this topic!).
I’m in ED recovery (1 year on the wagon!), grew up in a very diet-culture-y household, and went through surgical menopause at 29, so this topic is prescient. I wonder about: Having conversations with your parents about talking about food and bodies in front of your children?
Sorry you had to go through all of that. Navigating these topics with grandparents is so tricky (one of the most common questions I get from parents). Maybe Abby and I can talk through some ideas next time (or maybe she has another episode already that covers this—I can't remember!).
Oh, wow—first, congratulations on one year in recovery! That’s no small thing, especially while navigating so many intersecting layers like menopause and family dynamics.♥️
And that question is so important. Talking with parents (or anyone, really) about how they speak around you/your kids can feel tricky—especially when their comments about food or bodies were part of your own upbringing. You’re trying to protect both your children and your own healing, and that’s deep work.
I do have more coming on this soon (and Oona and I can do another ep, too!), but a small starting place: you can keep it simple and clear. Something like, “We’re trying to raise the kids to feel comfortable around all kinds of foods and bodies, so we’re avoiding comments about what anyone is eating or how anyone looks. It’s okay if that feels new or different—just knowing you’re on board with that means a lot.” You don’t have to convince them, just set a boundary. And if it helps, frame it as part of your parenting values rather than a critique of theirs.
More to come! Sending hugs. This time of year can be especially hard. Your peace matters.
thank you Abby and oona, this was great. my biggest takeaway parenting a child recovering from an eating disorder is compassion - not judgement. thank you both.
This hit home so hard! 🙏🏼
Thank you so much for sharing that! Let me know if there is anything you'd want to hear more about in a future episode (a continuation of this topic!).
I’m in ED recovery (1 year on the wagon!), grew up in a very diet-culture-y household, and went through surgical menopause at 29, so this topic is prescient. I wonder about: Having conversations with your parents about talking about food and bodies in front of your children?
Sorry you had to go through all of that. Navigating these topics with grandparents is so tricky (one of the most common questions I get from parents). Maybe Abby and I can talk through some ideas next time (or maybe she has another episode already that covers this—I can't remember!).
In the meantime, here is a piece by Virginia Sole-Smith that includes a very thorough response to a similar question (the grandparents in that case were Boomer age. Even if yours are younger, I think there are still a lot of takeaways): https://open.substack.com/pub/virginiasolesmith/p/the-grandparents-are-not-ok?r=4aius&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false
Oh, wow—first, congratulations on one year in recovery! That’s no small thing, especially while navigating so many intersecting layers like menopause and family dynamics.♥️
And that question is so important. Talking with parents (or anyone, really) about how they speak around you/your kids can feel tricky—especially when their comments about food or bodies were part of your own upbringing. You’re trying to protect both your children and your own healing, and that’s deep work.
I do have more coming on this soon (and Oona and I can do another ep, too!), but a small starting place: you can keep it simple and clear. Something like, “We’re trying to raise the kids to feel comfortable around all kinds of foods and bodies, so we’re avoiding comments about what anyone is eating or how anyone looks. It’s okay if that feels new or different—just knowing you’re on board with that means a lot.” You don’t have to convince them, just set a boundary. And if it helps, frame it as part of your parenting values rather than a critique of theirs.
More to come! Sending hugs. This time of year can be especially hard. Your peace matters.
thank you for your thoughtful reply, Abbie. Looking forward to hearing more!
thank you Abby and oona, this was great. my biggest takeaway parenting a child recovering from an eating disorder is compassion - not judgement. thank you both.
Elizabeth, thank you for this note. And the important reflection. Compassion is so healing ❤️
Love this!
Appreciate you so much, Mara!!