Thank you for writing this Abbie. I can identify with this so much and thanks for putting words to something that I haven’t articulated in this way.
My divorce and coming out was so painful. I have often said I don’t know if I would have done it if I’d have k own how painful it would be and if I hadn’t I would not have this beautiful life that I have. That safe pain would have grown to be even worse than it was.
I see what you’re saying also relates to my journey of no longer restricting. After five years I am so grateful I stopped restricting and it has taken time to feel grounded in this body. The new pain was worse to start with go sure. Thank you thank you! I’m glad you are recovering. ❤️🩹
Thank you so much for sharing this, Wanda. I’m so sorry you had to endure and experience pain like that. The both/and of it all is so true and so important. You liberated yourself, and there is struggle and loss in that, yet also so much on the other side. I’m grateful for your courage and vulnerability. You continue to teach me so much 🫶🏼
Thank you so much for this. What your husband said struck me to my core. I took a screenshot of it so I can write it down and put it on a post it on my wall with my other reminders.
" It's the pain of things getting better" is going to be one of my mantras. I am suffering from severe edema in my recovery and it is incredibly painful. I always thought when I finally started recovering from chronic anorexia that I would "feel better" and instead I'm feeling the pain that my body has been hiding for 33 years. It's extremely painful, extremely uncomfortable, and it feels like the most difficult thing in the world right now. But I know that staying in the prison of my eating disorder would have hurt so much worse. I'm thankful that even through the pain I know I'm heading in the right direction.
Thank you and best wishes for quick and gentle healing.
Lindsay, I see you. I really do. It’s so wise that you’re connecting this pain to something your body was hiding in the ED (as opposed to a pain that is the “fault” of healing). Isn’t it so frustrating that pain lags? As if it wasn’t “there” before, but it was, it just took a while for the body to catch up while it was protecting us. I’m sending you support and compassion as you keep stepping out of that prison. I’ve been there and you’re not alone ❤️❤️
I’ve been struggling with being less active this week because we got hit with snow and extreme cold. Then yesterday I started to feel sick with constant sneezing, sore throat, and exhaustion, which is making my guilt so much worse for resting even more for such a long period of time.
But I know if I don’t rest now, I can’t recover from being sick and I’ll run myself into the ground.
Thanks so much for sharing your story. Pain really can be visceral sometimes. I’m someone who rarely cries because I’m scared to let go and I always numb out by using ED behaviors, but I definitely get really down and depressed, even if I don’t cry.
I hope you’re recovering. It helps you feel that I’m not alone in struggling with healing, even if you have recovered from your ED a long time ago.
That feeling makes so much sense. We're taught in a million ways that rest = bad. I've always found it helpful to zoom out and ask: who benefits from me believing this? who profits from me pushing through pain when my body is asking for softness? You deserve ease without guilt. And I'm wishing more cathartic tears for both of us!
That line about healing pain having movement versus staying pain calcifying is so spot on. The cone metaphor really drove it home for me since I dealt with somethng similar after a knee surgery few years back. The discomfort of rehab felt way worse than just limping around, but obviously only one path actually led forward.
I really appreciate you naming all of this. It's true -- when we're in the thick of it, it's so hard to "see" that we're moving forward, or that perhaps the pain was there all along, and it's just being uncovered so that we can actually move through it. Thank you for being here.
Oh, Abbie. This hits so close to home that it hurts.
We're being told that starting to recover our childhood trauma memories is a sign that our nervous system is healing, but it's so deeply painful. To start to know what happened to us, and in detail, is horrendous. It doesn't feel like healing. It doesn't feel like progress. And it doesn't feel like it's ever going to get better/easier.
I'm so sorry that you're going through this, Jamie. I'm sending all the hugs, ease, softness. I know in my bones it will get better. I just hate that you're in the pain right now 💔
Abbie it was a God wink I found this past post this morning.
I’m recovering from two and half years of surgeries including being in a coma during between two and four the last surgery six months ago again unexpected complications. I’m sharing because it helps it feel real, all was sudden and a shock of course life is that way with joy and sadness many times. Your post today your words and your husband’s words resonated, kindly and miraculously with my hopeless feelings about my healing journey. A reframe for me thank you your ability to share your feelings thoughts wisdom are appreciated and I am grateful for you and your husband’s wisdom.
I hope that you are healing more comfortably sending light and love your way
Oh Laura, thank you so much for taking the time to share this. I am sending you so much compassion and support. I am deeply sorry you've had to go through all of that, and I hope you are finding small pockets of softness and little glimmers where you can. Thank you for being part of this community. And if there is anything you'd like me to write about, please let me know. It matters to me!
Abbie, I’m truly in shock—I’ve never read anything that resonates more. I actually just had an emergency appendectomy (?!), and I feel like this is exactly what I needed to read right now. I’ve been really struggling mentally and emotionally since the surgery, and this validation and these reminders are so meaningful. Thank you for writing and sharing so beautifully, as always. Sending love and healing your way❤️
Thank you for writing this Abbie. I can identify with this so much and thanks for putting words to something that I haven’t articulated in this way.
My divorce and coming out was so painful. I have often said I don’t know if I would have done it if I’d have k own how painful it would be and if I hadn’t I would not have this beautiful life that I have. That safe pain would have grown to be even worse than it was.
I see what you’re saying also relates to my journey of no longer restricting. After five years I am so grateful I stopped restricting and it has taken time to feel grounded in this body. The new pain was worse to start with go sure. Thank you thank you! I’m glad you are recovering. ❤️🩹
Thank you so much for sharing this, Wanda. I’m so sorry you had to endure and experience pain like that. The both/and of it all is so true and so important. You liberated yourself, and there is struggle and loss in that, yet also so much on the other side. I’m grateful for your courage and vulnerability. You continue to teach me so much 🫶🏼
Thank you Abbie!
Thank you so much for this. What your husband said struck me to my core. I took a screenshot of it so I can write it down and put it on a post it on my wall with my other reminders.
" It's the pain of things getting better" is going to be one of my mantras. I am suffering from severe edema in my recovery and it is incredibly painful. I always thought when I finally started recovering from chronic anorexia that I would "feel better" and instead I'm feeling the pain that my body has been hiding for 33 years. It's extremely painful, extremely uncomfortable, and it feels like the most difficult thing in the world right now. But I know that staying in the prison of my eating disorder would have hurt so much worse. I'm thankful that even through the pain I know I'm heading in the right direction.
Thank you and best wishes for quick and gentle healing.
Lindsay, I see you. I really do. It’s so wise that you’re connecting this pain to something your body was hiding in the ED (as opposed to a pain that is the “fault” of healing). Isn’t it so frustrating that pain lags? As if it wasn’t “there” before, but it was, it just took a while for the body to catch up while it was protecting us. I’m sending you support and compassion as you keep stepping out of that prison. I’ve been there and you’re not alone ❤️❤️
Thank you so much Abbie. ♥️
I’ve been struggling with being less active this week because we got hit with snow and extreme cold. Then yesterday I started to feel sick with constant sneezing, sore throat, and exhaustion, which is making my guilt so much worse for resting even more for such a long period of time.
But I know if I don’t rest now, I can’t recover from being sick and I’ll run myself into the ground.
Thanks so much for sharing your story. Pain really can be visceral sometimes. I’m someone who rarely cries because I’m scared to let go and I always numb out by using ED behaviors, but I definitely get really down and depressed, even if I don’t cry.
I hope you’re recovering. It helps you feel that I’m not alone in struggling with healing, even if you have recovered from your ED a long time ago.
That feeling makes so much sense. We're taught in a million ways that rest = bad. I've always found it helpful to zoom out and ask: who benefits from me believing this? who profits from me pushing through pain when my body is asking for softness? You deserve ease without guilt. And I'm wishing more cathartic tears for both of us!
That line about healing pain having movement versus staying pain calcifying is so spot on. The cone metaphor really drove it home for me since I dealt with somethng similar after a knee surgery few years back. The discomfort of rehab felt way worse than just limping around, but obviously only one path actually led forward.
I really appreciate you naming all of this. It's true -- when we're in the thick of it, it's so hard to "see" that we're moving forward, or that perhaps the pain was there all along, and it's just being uncovered so that we can actually move through it. Thank you for being here.
Oh, Abbie. This hits so close to home that it hurts.
We're being told that starting to recover our childhood trauma memories is a sign that our nervous system is healing, but it's so deeply painful. To start to know what happened to us, and in detail, is horrendous. It doesn't feel like healing. It doesn't feel like progress. And it doesn't feel like it's ever going to get better/easier.
I'm so sorry that you're going through this, Jamie. I'm sending all the hugs, ease, softness. I know in my bones it will get better. I just hate that you're in the pain right now 💔
Thank you, Abbie, so much for all your support and care. It means the world to us. Truly.
Abbie it was a God wink I found this past post this morning.
I’m recovering from two and half years of surgeries including being in a coma during between two and four the last surgery six months ago again unexpected complications. I’m sharing because it helps it feel real, all was sudden and a shock of course life is that way with joy and sadness many times. Your post today your words and your husband’s words resonated, kindly and miraculously with my hopeless feelings about my healing journey. A reframe for me thank you your ability to share your feelings thoughts wisdom are appreciated and I am grateful for you and your husband’s wisdom.
I hope that you are healing more comfortably sending light and love your way
Oh Laura, thank you so much for taking the time to share this. I am sending you so much compassion and support. I am deeply sorry you've had to go through all of that, and I hope you are finding small pockets of softness and little glimmers where you can. Thank you for being part of this community. And if there is anything you'd like me to write about, please let me know. It matters to me!
Oh Abbie- thank you for this. ❤️❤️ hoping you’re healing and resting up.
Thank you, Amy. Thank you so so much. Sending love to you!
Abbie, I’m truly in shock—I’ve never read anything that resonates more. I actually just had an emergency appendectomy (?!), and I feel like this is exactly what I needed to read right now. I’ve been really struggling mentally and emotionally since the surgery, and this validation and these reminders are so meaningful. Thank you for writing and sharing so beautifully, as always. Sending love and healing your way❤️
Thank you for sharing this. No one really understands post op pain until they're living it.
“all change involves loss” -my wise friend