I listened back to this bonus episode before re-releasing it, and I found myself nodding along like it was someone else’s show (lol…).
Because oh my gosh, recovery is messy. And my husband, Jeb, joined me for this one—so I always get a kick out of listening to us attempt to have a conversation that other people can actually benefit from (as opposed to our usual banter, which primarily involves speaking to each other via our dogs).
We’re responding to a listener who asks something so honest it almost hurts:
Is healing actually harder than just going back to dieting?
Here is the full question that inspired this episode:
Hi Abbie,
I’ve been recovering from decades of dieting and disordered eating. I’m completely on board with doing this work for myself, for my kids. I recognize now - many thanks to you - how much of my life has been wasted on trying to control my body.
But I’m struggling, and many days I have these thoughts of: is this harder than just continuing to diet and restrict? I’m uncomfortable, I feel stressed and anxious, and it’s hard to cope with the body changes. I just feel defeated in many ways.
I know I don’t want to go back, but at the same time, healing is feeling so hard. I am hoping you’ll have some advice for where to go from here. Your podcast has meant so much to me and my daughter. Thank you.
Alex
Whether you’re in recovery from disordered eating, trying to unlearn decades of body shame, parenting kids and don’t want to pass this on, or you’ve ever thought, “I know I don’t want to go back to restricting, but going forward feels so uncertain and unbearable”—this conversation is for you.
We get into a lot of things—including:
My personal experience of letting go of disordered eating when it felt like the only thing keeping me tethered to the world
Jeb’s sobriety journey—and how addiction recovery mirrors eating disorder recovery in surprising (and uncomfortable) ways
The “graph” of healing: why it often gets more painful before it feels freer
What’s underneath restriction for me, and what I see day-to-day with clients
The difference between physical discomfort and the emotional pain that was there all along
The quiet wins that signal you’re healing
Why community can be the difference between spiraling alone and staying the course
The seductive voice of “maybe I can just lightly diet”—and why that usually snowballs
The privilege and barriers that shape recovery, and how this work is bigger than just our bodies
How to hold the truth that healing is rarely a straight line, especially when you feel like you’re sliding backwards
There’s also laughter. And Jeb drinking kombucha in the bathroom. And a brief swamp monster metaphor I fully stand by.
I won’t pretend this episode offers a shiny solution, but I think it offers something better…something human.
And if you’re in the thick of it right now—uncomfortable, anxious, grieving your old coping tools—I want you to know you’re not alone.
This is a bonus episode, so the full conversation is available for paid subscribers.
When you upgrade to paid, you’re getting more than this conversation—you’ll get access to the full archive of bonus episodes, all of the new ones moving forward, direct messages with me, plus the deeper community and conversation that makes this work sustainable. It means the world to have you here, so thank you.
