Amazing read before going to bed. Spent the evening interrupting a show with my wife (Outlander) because I was so down on myself that my body has changed. I was so obsessed and perplexed over the thought that even though I still live “relatively healthy” and regimented in workouts via diet culture, my body wasn’t cooperating. “I shouldn’t look like this……I must be doing something wrong, missing something”. Just a full spiral..even to the point of challenging my anxiety medication, even though I now how much it helps me, because “what if it’s changing my body after all of these years”.
In conclusion, I’m so happy now with my move towards intuitive eating and emphasis on movement versus “max effort” workouts. I feel so good and this all feels so right. This read feels so right. But our culture tells me my body isn’t good enough, it changed, and it needs to be fixed. And if I don’t, I’m being lazy and not upholding “my temple”. If this noise was eliminated and health was focused solely on how you feel, mentally and physically, I’d consider myself in a prime time of life. But because of my past and that noise to uphold an image, my honest gut feelings get deafened out by our culture demands.
Alexis 🙏🏼 Thank you for sharing this so vulnerably. It’s heartbreaking how loud the noise of diet culture can be, even when you know in your gut that you’re on the right path. But I love that you’re recognizing the difference between what feels good for you versus what the world tries to tell you is necessary. That’s such a huge shift. Your body is not a problem to be solved, and I hope you keep holding onto that truth—even when the noise gets loud. You’re reconnecting to what truly matters to you. And you deserve a life that is authentic and self-compassionate. I’m so glad you’re here.
This line stopped me in my tracks: "And yet, we’re often only granted conditional permission for these changes." HELL YESSSSS. I notice so many trainers/programs now saying that they're "Anti Diet" but it's such a farce. "It's understandable that your body changed because of puberty/menopause/medical condition/injury/etc. We're here for you. No diets necessary. All you need to do is track macros and follow xyz work-out plan to change yourself back." Diet Culture is such a sneaky, insidious bastard. Thank you, Abbie, for your words and your work. I'm so glad I happened upon you.
Ugh, Rosanne, YES! You said this so beautifully. There is a lot of co-opting of anti-diet culture language happening. We have to look closely for those sneaky and insidious ways that it becomes twisted back into the same old BS. I too am so glad you’re here ♥️♥️ We’re untangling the mess together!
I’d like to emphasize part of this Abbie, that bodies are only supposed to change in one way… thinner, stronger, younger (especially for women), and whiter in appearance if not actual color. And if you start life in a non-privileged body then it’s a lifelong commitment to change (just don’t do it wrong).
I grew up fat and it was everyone’s mission that my body change. It was taught to me that changing my body was good, but not in an accepting loving way, in one way only. And anytime my body changed without achieving one of those other “correct” outcomes, I was punished with more famine (diets) and more stress (being forced to run when I woke up or join athletic teams where I didn’t feel safe). It’s no shock that I developed an eating disorder.
So if you have thin, white priviledge you can stop your body from changing. But if you don’t you have to change it, forever.
I could not agree more. Thank you so much for sharing this and your experience, Bridget ♥️ I have done a bunch of podcast episodes on exactly this issue — the fact that diet culture is actually a system of oppression, and the more marginalized identities a person holds, the more harm it causes. I like to return to Sonya Renee Taylor’s description of the ladder — how we *all* have to divest from the hierarchy of bodies in our society in order to create real safety. I’m grateful you’re here and so appreciate your comment. Thank you 🙏🏼
When I first stumbled across this idea in Chrissy King's book I was dumbfounded! I always was convinced I *should* have my mid-twenties (pre baby) body forever.
Frankly without this belief, I would probably live exactly the same life (because I LOVE food) but I wouldn't constantly go through guilt trips for enjoying "unhealthy" things, not managing/wanting/taking the time to exercise etc - sometimes it feels like going back to diet culture would be so much easier and it's very hard to resist.
Julia, thank you so much for sharing this! And I adore Chrissy in every way 🥰 I hear you on the guilt trips -- trying to deepen into that self-trust is so healing, and saves us so much wasted time and energy, feeling guilt for things we were never meant to feel guilt about (having a human body that changes, as it's supposed to). I also understand that thought of "maybe diet culture was easier". When the diet noise is loud, it's definitely natural to have those thoughts. Keep reminding yourself of who you are and what really matters. Your body is your vessel, not your purpose 🙏
Amazing read before going to bed. Spent the evening interrupting a show with my wife (Outlander) because I was so down on myself that my body has changed. I was so obsessed and perplexed over the thought that even though I still live “relatively healthy” and regimented in workouts via diet culture, my body wasn’t cooperating. “I shouldn’t look like this……I must be doing something wrong, missing something”. Just a full spiral..even to the point of challenging my anxiety medication, even though I now how much it helps me, because “what if it’s changing my body after all of these years”.
In conclusion, I’m so happy now with my move towards intuitive eating and emphasis on movement versus “max effort” workouts. I feel so good and this all feels so right. This read feels so right. But our culture tells me my body isn’t good enough, it changed, and it needs to be fixed. And if I don’t, I’m being lazy and not upholding “my temple”. If this noise was eliminated and health was focused solely on how you feel, mentally and physically, I’d consider myself in a prime time of life. But because of my past and that noise to uphold an image, my honest gut feelings get deafened out by our culture demands.
Alexis 🙏🏼 Thank you for sharing this so vulnerably. It’s heartbreaking how loud the noise of diet culture can be, even when you know in your gut that you’re on the right path. But I love that you’re recognizing the difference between what feels good for you versus what the world tries to tell you is necessary. That’s such a huge shift. Your body is not a problem to be solved, and I hope you keep holding onto that truth—even when the noise gets loud. You’re reconnecting to what truly matters to you. And you deserve a life that is authentic and self-compassionate. I’m so glad you’re here.
This line stopped me in my tracks: "And yet, we’re often only granted conditional permission for these changes." HELL YESSSSS. I notice so many trainers/programs now saying that they're "Anti Diet" but it's such a farce. "It's understandable that your body changed because of puberty/menopause/medical condition/injury/etc. We're here for you. No diets necessary. All you need to do is track macros and follow xyz work-out plan to change yourself back." Diet Culture is such a sneaky, insidious bastard. Thank you, Abbie, for your words and your work. I'm so glad I happened upon you.
Ugh, Rosanne, YES! You said this so beautifully. There is a lot of co-opting of anti-diet culture language happening. We have to look closely for those sneaky and insidious ways that it becomes twisted back into the same old BS. I too am so glad you’re here ♥️♥️ We’re untangling the mess together!
I’d like to emphasize part of this Abbie, that bodies are only supposed to change in one way… thinner, stronger, younger (especially for women), and whiter in appearance if not actual color. And if you start life in a non-privileged body then it’s a lifelong commitment to change (just don’t do it wrong).
I grew up fat and it was everyone’s mission that my body change. It was taught to me that changing my body was good, but not in an accepting loving way, in one way only. And anytime my body changed without achieving one of those other “correct” outcomes, I was punished with more famine (diets) and more stress (being forced to run when I woke up or join athletic teams where I didn’t feel safe). It’s no shock that I developed an eating disorder.
So if you have thin, white priviledge you can stop your body from changing. But if you don’t you have to change it, forever.
I could not agree more. Thank you so much for sharing this and your experience, Bridget ♥️ I have done a bunch of podcast episodes on exactly this issue — the fact that diet culture is actually a system of oppression, and the more marginalized identities a person holds, the more harm it causes. I like to return to Sonya Renee Taylor’s description of the ladder — how we *all* have to divest from the hierarchy of bodies in our society in order to create real safety. I’m grateful you’re here and so appreciate your comment. Thank you 🙏🏼
💯
Love this so much!
I appreciate you, Jenn!! Xoxo
When I first stumbled across this idea in Chrissy King's book I was dumbfounded! I always was convinced I *should* have my mid-twenties (pre baby) body forever.
Frankly without this belief, I would probably live exactly the same life (because I LOVE food) but I wouldn't constantly go through guilt trips for enjoying "unhealthy" things, not managing/wanting/taking the time to exercise etc - sometimes it feels like going back to diet culture would be so much easier and it's very hard to resist.
Julia, thank you so much for sharing this! And I adore Chrissy in every way 🥰 I hear you on the guilt trips -- trying to deepen into that self-trust is so healing, and saves us so much wasted time and energy, feeling guilt for things we were never meant to feel guilt about (having a human body that changes, as it's supposed to). I also understand that thought of "maybe diet culture was easier". When the diet noise is loud, it's definitely natural to have those thoughts. Keep reminding yourself of who you are and what really matters. Your body is your vessel, not your purpose 🙏
Love this!
Thank you, Mara! You are so so appreciated!
Well written, Abbie! Such an important message.❤️
Thank you so much, Mollie! I am so glad to have you here 🙏 xoxo
Anchanging body is a normal body. Yes!