“What an amazing gift to realize how much power you have when what they see and how they perceive you does not matter to you.
And to this day, what the white gaze and the male gaze see in me, I don’t care at all. It’s a gift I pray I’ve passed on to my children.”
This week on the podcast, I had the immense honor of sitting down with Desiree Adaway — visionary leader, truth-teller, and guide through the sticky, painful, and transformative conversations around race, gender, fatness, class, and liberation.
We talk about what it means to stay grounded when the world feels impossible. How to handle the hard conversations about politics, culture, body liberation, and (yes) breakfast. What it looks like to meet conflict with love. And how we reclaim joy, rest, and nourishment — even (and especially) in the midst of struggle.
She reminds us, over and over again, why conflict is actually essential for personal and societal transformation.
Listen to the episode to hear more about:
Desiree’s upbringing and why she believes it lacked diet culture
Breakfast as an act of reconnection with self
Why she doesn’t give a shit about the male gaze
What Toni Morrison taught her about bodies
The role of imagination in liberation
Why change can’t happen without rest
How we can set boundaries through conflict
What accountability really means
Centering love in difficult conversations
Understanding what we want out of conflict
How disagreement leads to right relationships
The interconnectedness of personal experiences and systemic issues
Desiree’s call for more community care
Finding hope in the midst of hopelessness
I could have named this episode any number of things related to the list above. But what this conversation ultimately felt like to me was a reminder that we’re all going to be okay. Desiree has the rare ability to hold us and coach us through conflict and despair towards resilience and meaningful change.
This conversation felt like a hand on my back, like a deep breath in a heavy week. I hope it meets you where you are and invites you to remember how much power you truly have.
And as always, I’d love to hear from you in the comments — specifically on these two things:
Is conflict something you struggle with? Why or why not?
What helps you hold onto hope when things feel hard?
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